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Tom and Mary Milano
TomandMaryMilano@Yahoo.com
Mary and I, start experiencing the excitement of an upcoming cruise long before the date of our departure and for an extended period after
we return. We have found that certain mind games help. We are going to tell of a few that have helped us that you might like to try.
Collecting Memories:
Some years ago we read about a renowned traveler,
Niebuhr, who became blind in his old age. But having traveled all over the world, and
viewing the most beautiful and loveliest scenes, he had stored in his memory countless pictures of landscapes, mountain scenery, and valleys
of rare beauty. Then, as he reclined in his easy chair, his face would often brighten into a rich glow, as if some inner light was shining through.
He was remembering once more some splendid scene he had looked upon in his travels. The author wrote that the chamber walls of his
memory were hung all over with the pictures which filled his darkened years with joy and beauty.
This lovely thought gave Mary and I the idea that it might be a very meaningful and rewarding endeavor for us to make a conscious effort to
collect memories. We have done that and at the very top of our long list of many wonderful memories are the sixteen cruises we have made
in the last four years.
Photos Remind Us Of Our Past Cruises:
When we board a ship the usual photo is taken. We also have one taken on each formal night and when we are dining, and also when we
disembark at a port. We have the formal pictures on the shelves of our wall unit in our den. They are a constant reminder of the many
wonderful cruises we have made. In our breakfast area we have a window garden in which we place all the embarking photos, interspersed
with the port photos. It is most pleasant to catch a glimpse of them whenever we are at our breakfast table. The only problem having all
these pictures staring at us, is they make us aware that we are not getting any younger. But they also serve the purpose of reminding us that
we had better cruise every opportunity we get and as often as we can, while were still able.
Island Night Dinners:
Another way we have of heightening our pre cruise excitement is our Island nights. We have in our cupboard, dishes which have a special
meaning for us.. We have made it a practice to collect two dinner plates from every Island we have visited. When we return home I write on
the back of each plate, the Island, the name of the ship and the date of the cruise. One day a month, Mary decides what Island she wants to
honor and she makes what she calls an Island dinner. On that special evening she sets a card table among the flowers in our garden room.
She then sets the table with the two plates she has chosen, a very colorful table cloth and napkins, and of course, candlelight. Then dressed
as we do on Island nights aboard ship, we sit down to dinner. I pour Mary's wine and with the strains of soft music playing in the
background, we have dinner and reminisce about our past cruises. After dinner, we have one of Mary's fabulous desserts, something we do
not usually do when we are home. When we finish dinner, I lead Mary to a small tiled area in our garden room that we call our dance floor. I
embrace Mary in my arms and we dance, just as if we were in a lounge aboard ship. We particulary enjoy dancing the Rhumba to a CD of
Edie Gorme singing Amor with the accompaniment of the Los Pancho's Trio. We get the same feeling as if we were dancing in a lounge
aboard ship. But then we are brought back to reality when we glance out the garden room window, and instead of seeing the blue rolling
ocean waves and sea spray, we see the lush green fairway of the 10th hole of our Ct. club golf course. (We have played a mind game with
ourselves.)
Well, I guess you can't have everything. Imagination and simulation, can only take you so far, then reality sets in. But I can tell you this; we
have found that having these dinners once a month immensely heightens our anticipation and excitement of our upcoming cruise and has
added immeasurably to our collection of memories.
Fashion Show Week:
Mary & I call the two weeks before we cruise, fashion show week. We retired from the restaurant business in 1973. It was our custom on
weekends for Mary to be dressed in a evening gown and I would wear a tux. Remarkably, and to her credit, Mary has maintained her size
six and is still able to wear these gowns. You probably would like to know how I have managed in the weight department...but I'm not
going to tell you.
I think I should first explain how Mary prepares for a cruise. She has set aside a bedroom as her staging area, for cruise packing. She has
our two Val packs open on the bed, side by side. Yes, you read it right, I didn't make a mistake, we have two Val packs. (A Val pack is a
suitcase type garment bag). As I wrote in one of our cruise reviews, Mary would have felt right at home among the women of yesteryear,
who wouldn't think of traveling without a steamer trunk. After our fourth cruise, she made me buy the second Val pack. We now have his
and hers, mostly hers. She even takes extra things in case she changes her mind as to what she's going to wear. Now you are forewarned, if
you read in one of our reviews that the cabin had very limited closet and drawer space, be advised to take it with a grain of salt.
Mary is really a pro at packing. She keeps and saves the cellophane wrappings that our dry cleaner puts over our clothes and makes sure
each of her dress's and everyone of my Val pack items are covered with them. She says it's the only way to keep your clothes from
creasing and she has convinced me she's right. She also has a large open piece of luggage sitting sideways across the arms of a chair. As
soon as we return from a cruise and all the laundry is done, she puts the underwear, socks, handkerchiefs and other items of that type in the
suitcase, ready for the next cruise.
Two weeks before the cruise, Mary starts talking about what she might wear. (Remember what I said about mind games? Well, this is
another one.) She asks my opinion and I tell her how nice she looked in this dress and how that dress did something special for her and how
the other one made her figure look even trimmer than it is and etc and etc. Then after looking at some of our formal cruise pictures on our
wall unit, I usually say, "I think I'd like to see you take such and such a dress, but I'm not sure. Why don't you try it on and let me see how it
looks." This is the beginning of the fashion show. She begins trying on different dresses and we talk about them and then we decide if she
should take it. This goes on at various times preceding the cruise and after we have made our selections, we often change our minds and do
it all over again.
I'll share a secret with you. As far as I'm concerned, Mary would look good in a pair of over-alls, but I wouldn't dare tell her. I wouldn't
take the chance of having to give up the fun and the intimacy that goes along with helping an attractive fashion model slip in and out of her
dress's. We find ‘Fashion Week' not only helps greatly to heighten our excitement and anticipation of a cruise, but it makes for a very
entertaining and interesting evening.
Dancing:
We would like you to read an article we read a number of years ago, by an unknown author, that has a poignant and compelling message, and then we will tell you how dancing extends our cruise experience..
The cruise ship was crowded with people off for a week of pleasure. Ahead of me in the passageway walked a tiny woman in brown
slacks, her shoulders hunched, her white hair cut in a bob. From the ship's intercom came a familiar tune, "Begin the Beguine." And suddenly
a wonderful thing happened. The women, unaware anyone was behind her, did a quick and graceful dance step, back, shuffle and slide. As
she reached the door to the dining room, she reassembled her dignity and stepped soberly through.
Younger people often think folks our age are beyond romance, dancing or dreams. They don't see the people who live inside....we are the
wise old codgers, the dignified matrons. No one would ever know that I am still the skinny girl who grew up in a leafy suburb of Boston.
Inside, I still think of myself as the youngest child in a vicarious family headed by a mother of great beauty and a father of unfailing good
cheer.
And I am still the romantic teenager who longed for love, the young adult who aspired to social respectability but whom should I tell. We are
like the women in the ship's passageway, in whom the music still echoes. We are the sum of all the lives once lived. We show the grown-up
part, but inside we are still laughing children, the shy teens, the dreamed filled youths. There still exists, most real, the matrix of all we were
or ever yearn to be. In our hearts we still hear, "Begin the Beguine," and when we are alone, we dance.
Many Times When Mary and I are Alone...We Dance:
Mary and I enjoy dancing. We like everything about it. We love having our arms around each other dancing to rhythms of the nostalgic
ballads of yesteryear and we enjoy the intimacy it fosters.. We find it very exhilarating and exciting and romantic.
We consider our cruises as gifts to each other. We are fortunate to be able to cruise as often as we do. We usually cruise on Valentines
Day, our Anniversary, my birthday and Mary's birthday and in between when our agent calls us with a fax special. One year shortly after
Mary's birthday I decided I wanted to give her an additional gift. It really would be for the both of us but when I told her about it, I tried as
hard as I could to make it appear as if it was all for her. I decided that additional gift would be dance lessons. (And of course I was the
designated dance partner) After a lot of research I got in touch with a couple that had a dance studio. They were very nice and were highly
thought of dance instructors. I made an agreement whereas we could drop out anytime we wanted to, and just pay as you go. I waited till
Mary and I were having a romantic diner and then I told her what I had done for her. She looked at me rather skeptically and said, "Are you
sure you want to do this?" I assured her it would be great for us to learn a few additional steps, especially since the amount of our dancing
has increased dramatically since we started cruising.
I'm an obsessive person. When I do something I go all the way and when I think I'm about to finish, I find some more things to do that have
never been thought of. I reasoned we already were fairly good dancers, you know that old WW #2, slide and glide, that we could get on a
lot faster if we took extra lessons. I signed up for three evening lessons and two afternoon lessons. I reasoned if one was good, five must be
better. After six months of the maddening pace of coming and going to dance class, my dancing didn't improve very much, but I can tell
you, I was awfully tired. Mary & I decided we had enough, we stopped counting and are back to our old WW#2 slide and glide
routine Mary is usually very appreciative, but for some reason I don't understand, she says very little about my very generous and thoughtful
present.
A couple of weeks before a cruise, Mary & I select some of our favorite CD's and retire to our den. The floor is parquet which makes for
nice dancing. We find ourselves saying the same thing every time we return from a cruise, "We should learn a few new steps." That's when
the fun begins. We usually start off well but when we get to trying out some new variation of an old step, we usually fall back to our old
ways. We do this for a number of nights with pretty much the same results. We haven't made any major improvement with our dancing, but
we find ourselves laughing a great deal and having a fun filled evening. We aren't as poised and graceful as Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers
or maybe not quite as agile, but were willing to make a wager, that Fred or Ginger didn't have any better time than we do.
If you want to heighten your pre cruise experience, play your favorite CD and imagine your in the lounge of your favorite cruise ship. Take
your sweetheart in your arms, hold her tight and as you dance, think of the many intimate moments you soon will be sharing. It will do
wonders for you. (Remember it's all a mind game.)
How To Heighten Your After Cruise Experience:
We have mentioned a number of things we do to heighten our before cruise experience that are the very things you can also do to heighten
your after cruise experience.
The many pictures we have in our den are a good reminder of our cruises, as are the boarding and port pictures displayed in our breakfast
area. Now that we have taken sixteen cruises, we have so many pictures that I have hung a number of them in my office. I enjoy looking at
them as I glance around the room. It makes for a very pleasant atmosphere.
Our Island nights after a cruise, are a delight and make for a wonderful evening of reliving memories and planning future cruises. It also gives
us a chance to practice our Rhumba.
Dancing is sure to heighten your cruise experience before, during and after a cruise. It's fun, it's romantic. It's better exercise than jogging
and you don't need special shoes. How can you top that package. I hope we haven't discouraged you from taking dancing
lessons Actually, taking lessons was a lot of fun and I promise you, you will forever remember the numbers...one...two... three and a four. Those
numbers are riveted to the inside of my forehead forever.
Photos of Past Cruises:
Cruise snapshots are a very good way to rekindle memories of a cruise. We file each of our cruise snapshots in the packet that the film
comes back from the developer, under the name of the ship. When we want to remember a certain cruise, we take out that packet and go
through each of the photos. It's fun reminding ourselves of the wonderful time we had at different ports of call. We enjoy looking at the
pictures that were taken while we are having lunch in Pancho's Backyard in Cozumel or while we were swimming in the magnificent pool of
he Jamaica Grande Hotel in Ocha Rios, or some of the beautiful pictures we took of that pristine paradise of the Caribbean, Holland
American's Half Moon Cay. Pictures are a great reminder of the many wonderful moments we have enjoyed on our past cruises. Make sure
you take a camera on your next cruise and bring home a bunch of memories.
Internet Cruise Message Boards:
Another way to vicariously cruise and heighten your after cruise experience is by joining one of the many cruise message boards on the
Internet. They offer you an opportunity to have conversations with other people who are passionate about cruising. I would like to tell you
about a wonderful experience we had after posting on a message board..
I was surfing various cruise web sites when I came across a message board that you could post the day you were sailing. I posted the date
of our sailing which was April 4th aboard the Ryndam. A couple of days later I received an E-Mail from a woman who read my post and
said that she was also booked on the same ship. We exchanged E-Mails. In one of the E-Mails she sent a picture of herself. We thought it
was nice but didn't give it further thought The day of sailing we're in the Holland American terminal in Ft. Lauderdale waiting to board and I
happened to glance to my right and I saw a girl that looked familiar. I said to Mary, "That's Pat
Cromwell. the girl that sent us the photo". Sure enough it was her. I introduced myself and the three of us carried on like old friends. Later on in the cruise we had the pleasure of
having lunch with Pat. She is a delightful lady and just loves the Ryndam and has cruised it five times. The second night of our recent cruise
aboard the Grand Princess, we returned to our stateroom to find bottle of Chardonnay on our desk, with a beautiful note attached,
compliments of Pat Cromwell. What a pleasant surprise. Try joining a cruise message board, they really can be fun.
Write a Review of Your Last Cruise:
And last but not least, and possibly one of the best ways you can extend your cruise experience is doing what Mary & I do, write a review.
When you return from a cruise share your cruise experience with your fellow cruisers by writing a review. Not only will you be extending
your own cruise experience but you will be helping your fellow cruisers get the information they are seeking.. One of the pleasures we derive
from writing a review is all the E-Mail we receive. If you write a review and do not know how to have it posted, write us and we will help
you.
I think we have given you enough suggestions on how to heighten your before and after cruise experience and now it's up to you to see if
they work for you. We believe that the ability to enjoy things for a longer period, be it cruising or our everyday life, is directly correlated to
our ability to play games with our minds. My favorite author Emmet Fox once said, "It is the food which you furnish your mind that
determines the whole character of your life. It is the thoughts you allow your mind to dwell upon, which make you and your surroundings
what they are." The games we play with our minds can help us in every area of our life.
As we have written in a recent cruise review, we would do ourselves a world of good if we took the advice of that grand old Johnnie
Mercer tune, You got to learn to "Accentuate the positive...eliminate the negative...and latch on to the affirmative." That's what these
suggestions are all about. They are mind games you can play to help accentuate and heighten your enjoyment of your past and future cruises.
If you do something special to enhance your cruise experience please share it with us, and if you have enjoyed this article, Mary & I would
enjoy hearing your comments. Until we meet again.
Happy cruising,
Tom & Mary Milano
TomandMaryMilano@Yahoo.com
Ever thought of becoming a part time or home based travel agent? Follow this link to see some of the books Tom Ogg has authored.
